Feelings of Inadequacy
Feeling not good enough
What Is It?
Feelings of inadequacy (feeling not good enough) are emotions that can show up as your child not feeling good enough, not believing in themself, or not having confidence. It can feel like being unworthy. Feeling not good enough can happen to any of us. Like any emotion, feelings of inadequacy can result from many things.
What Does It Feel Like?
It can feel like:
- Not confident
- Unworthy
- Not believing in oneself
- Sadness
- Upset
- Frustrated/mad
- Like everything is awful
- Not loved
- Lonely
You might also notice your child/youth acting out or avoiding others. They might also not want to try new things because they feel they are not good enough to try. It can show up in many ways.
How to Cope With it?
Feeling not good enough can feel really uncomfortable. You can help your child/youth by supporting them. You can support them by encouraging, loving, and accepting them.
Ways you can help your child/youth deal with feeling not good enough:
- Get your child/youth to write down 10 things they love about themself or that they are good at
- Help them challenge their beliefs
- For example, if they say, “I can’t do this. It’s too hard,” you could ask them about something they are good at and if they were always good at it. You could remind them they became good with practice.
- Encourage activities which help them feel good and connect with others
- Ask them to teach you something they are good at
- Do something they enjoy
- Look up relaxation techniques or meditations on YouTube
Further Resources
All articles referenced above are collated here for your convenience and further reading:
Coping with Grief and Loss – HelpGuide.org
What does grief feel like? | Mind, the mental health charity – help for mental health problems
Dealing with Disappointment (hbr.org)
A Psychologist’s Advice on How to Deal with Disappointment (manhattancbt.com)
Goals of misbehavior – Part 4: Inadequacy – Early Childhood Development (msu.edu)
If you would like to speak to someone about mental health issues, the Alberta Health Services Mental Health Help Line is available 24/7, offering information and referrals on any aspect of mental health.
Call toll-free: 1-877-303-2642
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